An Interesting Thought on School Selection

Or rather Parenting. Or both as they go hand in hand.

All these days, I was under the impression that I have to choose a good school for my son. School where he will be exposed to usual academics as well as extra curricular activities and make life long friends. A good school that will ground him, teach him discipline and ensure that he doesn’t fall into bad influence as everyone going there will more or less want the same for their kids.

A senior colleague and a mom who has been through it all, pointed out that school plays a small part in the grand scheme of things. Kids rarely behave badly in front of teachers/ on school grounds. The negative influence and effects of that ‘bad influence’ are experienced outside school when they hang out with their friends – either in their homes, cafe’s or classes – where they can actually spend their pocket money.
And its wrong to think that good school/ marquee school == good friends. Its more important to know who your kids friends are and become friends with their parents. Get to know their parents and what they think is important to them ( money, reputation, latest gadgets, fashion, art etc) to get an insight into how the friend might be brought up. Once you find out parents who share similar values, together (you and the friends parents) can maintain a better control over how your kids turn out.If the 5 – 10 kids your kid hangs out with share similar values and upbringing then negative peer pressure is less(er).

There are less chances of them abusing their free time, pocket money and health.

As a kid, my mom was friends with all my friends mom and it was extremely hard to do anything without all mom’s agreeing to it. So birthday parties, sleepovers, movie outings, classes we attended etc were all regulated if not outright monitored. Who am I kidding – there was at least one parent or teacher present with us all-the-time.
I used to hate it. There were no secrets and all parents knew if something happened.
Even Vipul’s friends and their parents were friends. They still know what happens in our lives.

The more I think about it, its actually a wonderful way to teach kids values and morals and lessons in life-long friendship.So, maybe I should talk to my friends who are in the same boat and get Varun and others to go to same school – so there is a group already and we are a bit safe from the hazards of modern schooling.

Experienced parents  do you agree? Is it more manipulative? Controlling? Eager to hear your thoughts!

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About rutujak

A travel addict, self confessed foodie and a mom trying to make SFO my home after a decade in Seattle and a stint in Hyderabad, India.

Posted on January 19, 2013, in Baby Talk, Life in India and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. i totally agree with this viewpoint, In fact i try to friend all other child even in my baby’s day care. I have not seen many other parents do this. So i am glad that someone does and thinks its a good thing to do.

    • Even I don’t take the effort to know all kids. But the kids that I do know, I make sure to check what they are up to while I drop and pick up Varun (if they are around).
      But will try getting to know most ( if not all) going forward.

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